I want out! I want to escape the diet culture that I've been trapped in since as long as I can remember. It's suffocating and it definitely doesn't serve me.
It's kept me hating my body and makes me cry when my clothes don't fit me or when I look in the mirror and see the flabs of skin flopping over my jeans. I see my thighs toughing or feel the skin of them go up and down when I'm jogging in the pool. I look in the sideview mirror and see the flab hanging from my upper arms. I really d hate my body even though I try to convince myself otherwise.
It's carried my six beautiful children and housed them until they entered the world. It supports me every day to do all the things I do. I've trained it and nourished it to get me through 3 1/2 half marathons, countless fun runs, and all the different sports I got into over the years.
In my rational mind, I know that it's a good body. But for some reason, I connect my worth to my appearance. I allow it to dictate how I feel each day and in turn it influences how I show up in the world. I buy new clothes because I try to find the ones that make me feel the most beautiful.
I don't want to do this anymore. I want to feel beautiful. I want to look at myself and feel worthy despite the muffin top. I want to look in the mirror and not see the fat. I don't want "fat" to be a bad thing. When did it become a bad thing, I wonder.
Why do I let the world around me dictate what is beautiful. I know women who are bigger and that are beautiful. It is totally possible to be both but yet I can't apply this to myself and how I view myself. It's a real struggle that I fight every day. I want to break free from the diet mentality and instead focus on doing what I enjoy.
Build habits that I do simply because they make me feel good. They make me feel whole and let me live the life I want with the people I choose to have in my life. I know that it's possible. I don't want to equate food with the amount of calories it has. I want to enjoy it for its taste and not for the nutrition it provides.
My journey continues and it's beginning in the mind. Although this is far from the beginning. But still far from the end.
#EscapetheDiet #BuildingHabits #DietCulture #BeYou #MyJourney